First Post.

I know; I know... The title is lame.
This post serves as an introduction about me and my randomness.
Basically, any information in this post is based on how I know myself – a personal perspective bases.

Athalia… is not my real name. It’s the name which I wished to be my real name. Athalia served as my screen name for like more than 3 years already. I got it from the Bible. I’m 16 (as of now) and will be turning 17 in three days; and turning 18 in 367 days.

I'm a pretty strong-willed person so when I feel like being lazy, I give it 100% laziness. I am sometimes eccentric. There are also times when I withdraw myself from society (I actually do this most of the time) - I think I can stay put inside our house for a whole year provided that my parents won't force me to go out and meet Mr. Sun ~Oh hello there!, and the flowers.

As my blogger name says, I’m an “iska” (students from the school I attend to are referred to as scholars) and I wish I never became one; I’m “tamad” or lazy. Boohoo. I’m just so honest about that (my being lazy) fact.

I'm in to arts - music, visuals. I sing (and I can sing well if I want to lol), I can draw (and charcoal paint if I want to lol again). When I want to do something, I can really be good at it but most of the times my laziness eats up my spirit so I end up being not so good. Hah. Lol.

Some random facts...
When I was a kid, I always wished to grow older but now that I became an adult, I wish I could turn back time and remain as a kid forever.

Reasons?
The reasons behind that are simple. Kids are the luckiest persons in this world; they don't have a lot of things to think of, their satisfaction can be attained easily, their lives are much less complicated than that of an adult's.

Right now I want to go on a journey of finding the reason for my existence. :/ I wish someone would pop out of nowhere and help me.

A pretty screwed up life

Currently, my life's pretty damned. I just had my heart broken after a very long time. I thought this feeling was good for being hurt is part of being human but then do I really need to hurt this bad? God, it hurts so bad that I cry myself to sleep every night since that happened.

Screwed.
Why does that person have to do stuffs for me when he was the one who .. ugh. never mind.

Messed.
Everything in my mind seems to be in a clutter. I want to quit studying in my current school for two reasons:
1. I can’t seem to find my raison d'être; and
2. Someone there is kind of tormenting me,
but that's the only university in the Philippines which offers my course. And I kind of appreciated my course already so there... Another thing, I think my parents won't allow me to temporarily stop going to school. But if I were to be the one in control, I would really want to take a break from all of these craps.

Aside from having a pretty screwed up life, I'm now having a pretty ironic day. Today is supposedly a day of happiness but it turned out as an unhappy day.

This is the worst.
Worst birthday ever. Some days before this very day, something really saddening happened. Aside from that, a grandpa of mine died (overseas) and his body arrived in the Philippines last Sunday, November 1; He will be buried later which imposes that my parents would leave me home alone on this day. And yesterday, November 2, my cousin (a 5 year-old boy) was rush to the hospital due to vomiting (but thank God, he's now fine).

Birthday wishes?
I wish my mind would be cleared. I want a worry-free mind. I wish my heart would get mend. I want a heart that is fixed and not broken. I wish to have a peaceful life. I want to live my everyday with no regrets.

Happy birthday, dearest self! (Urk. It sounds pathetic.) LOL.