A pretty screwed up life

Currently, my life's pretty damned. I just had my heart broken after a very long time. I thought this feeling was good for being hurt is part of being human but then do I really need to hurt this bad? God, it hurts so bad that I cry myself to sleep every night since that happened.

Screwed.
Why does that person have to do stuffs for me when he was the one who .. ugh. never mind.

Messed.
Everything in my mind seems to be in a clutter. I want to quit studying in my current school for two reasons:
1. I can’t seem to find my raison d'être; and
2. Someone there is kind of tormenting me,
but that's the only university in the Philippines which offers my course. And I kind of appreciated my course already so there... Another thing, I think my parents won't allow me to temporarily stop going to school. But if I were to be the one in control, I would really want to take a break from all of these craps.

Aside from having a pretty screwed up life, I'm now having a pretty ironic day. Today is supposedly a day of happiness but it turned out as an unhappy day.

This is the worst.
Worst birthday ever. Some days before this very day, something really saddening happened. Aside from that, a grandpa of mine died (overseas) and his body arrived in the Philippines last Sunday, November 1; He will be buried later which imposes that my parents would leave me home alone on this day. And yesterday, November 2, my cousin (a 5 year-old boy) was rush to the hospital due to vomiting (but thank God, he's now fine).

Birthday wishes?
I wish my mind would be cleared. I want a worry-free mind. I wish my heart would get mend. I want a heart that is fixed and not broken. I wish to have a peaceful life. I want to live my everyday with no regrets.

Happy birthday, dearest self! (Urk. It sounds pathetic.) LOL.